Dear Lucca,
I can’t believe I’ve let so much time past before sitting down to write you one of these notes. All of us have grown so much since my last note to you.
There is so much I’ve wanted to share with you since then. So much, in fact, that it’s been hard to know where to start. This has always been difficult for Dad. There’s a saying along the lines of “Don’t let the perfect get in the way of the good.” I’m afraid your Dad’s strive for perfection (believe it or not, I am not even close) often does just that. It can hamper creativity, slow down the sharing of ideas, and prevent many thoughts from ever reaching the world. The good news is that I’m now aware of it and working hard to improve here. Learning to accept “good enough” is an important lesson. Learning to balance when “good enough” is enough and when perfect execution is necessary is another. I’m still figuring this out every day. I hope you don’t suffer from the same challenges when you get older, but I am here to help if you do.
So, why am I writing today? What’s on my mind? Where to even begin. I’ve been working on a giant piece on What I Learned from Stoicism for a year or two now. I want to put all of these important life lessons in once place for you and for your Dad who is still relearning them. I add bits and pieces as I come across them, but at some point, I’ll have to be comfortable accepting that what I have is “good enough” and just start on the finished product. Something is better than nothing. And rarely is anything a “finished product” – we can and should always circle back, improve, add, remove, etc.
I also have so much other stuff to recap for you and for us over the past year. Quite a lot has happened since I last wrote you. The biggest change is our move to Charlotte!! Which you (and all of us) absolutely love! But that’s another letter in itself. So before getting too far off track, let’s get back to why I sat down today - The Man in the Arena.
This is one of the most inspiring speeches your Dad has ever come across. It’s amazing how large an impact can be conveyed by just a few short sentences. I’ve found myself visiting these sentences more often over the past several years. And have wanted to hang a framed version of this speech in your room (and in my office) for a while. Unfortunately, I haven’t found “the perfect” one yet. Maybe your Mom can help! She’s much better at taking action than Dad. It’s one of the reasons we are so good together. Just look at the new paint job in your new bedroom for proof!
LeBron James, perhaps the best basketball player that ever lived (next to Michael Jordan of course), still keeps this quote hanging in his locker to remind him that it doesn’t matter what anyone else has to say about him because they have never been in the arena. Imagine that! One of the world’s finest athletes still needs a daily reminder that he’s “good enough.” That actions speak louder than words. That daring greatly and failing is far better than never daring at all. My greatest hope for you Lucca is that you don’t stop daring. It doesn’t matter how many times you fall. What matters is how many times you get up and try again. You will never regret doing. But the worst regrets and the worst failures are just not trying at all. We are rooting for you. We love you. And we believe in you.
The Man in The Arena
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
- Theodore Roosevelt, April 23, 1910
Love,
Your Imperfect Dad