NOTE: This letter is addressed primarily to Carter (“Hey Cart,”); Lucca is cc’d, with a closing P.S. directed to him. Flagged for scope review — see _Inventory.md.
Hey Cart,
Thought of you this morning when reading over a collection of writing from Jeff Bezos. It started with a story.
Bezos was working at a hedge fund in NY at the time. He told his boss that he wanted to leave the industry to start a company selling books on the internet (this was 1994 when very few people even knew what the web was, let alone actually used it). His boss said something to him like this. “You know what, Jeff. That sounds like a really good idea. But it would be an even better idea for somebody who didn’t already have a great job.”
After a long discussion, he convinced Bezos to think about it for a couple of days before deciding. So he did.
Now here is the important part.
To make that decision, Bezos used a mental framework that has since become an important part of his decision-making process. He called it “Regret Minimization.” Basically, he would imagine how he would feel when he turned 80 and looked back on this decision. The goal was to minimize the number of regrets in his life. Bezos knew that, when he was 80, he would not regret having tried. He knew that if he failed, he wouldn’t regret it. The one thing he would definitely regret would be not trying. He thought that would haunt him every day of his life. So he went ahead and tried. And the rest is history.
In 2010, he gave a Commencement Address to the graduating class at Princeton. He encouraged them to think about the following questions.
- How will you use your gifts? What choices will you make?
- Will inertia be your guide, or will you follow your passions?
- Will you follow dogma, or will you be original?
- Will you choose a life of ease, or a life of service and adventure?
- Will you wilt under criticism, or will you follow your convictions?
- Will you bluff it out when you’re wrong, or will you apologize?
- Will you guard your heart against rejection, or will you act when you fall in love?
- Will you play it safe, or will you be a little bit swashbuckling?
- When it’s tough, will you give up, or will you be relentless?
- Will you be a cynic, or will you be a builder?
- Will you be clever at the expense of others, or will you be kind?
He concluded with the following prediction. “When you are eighty years old and, in a quiet moment of reflection, narrating for only yourself the most personal version of your life story, the telling that will be most compact and meaningful will be the series of choices you have made. In the end, we are our choices. Build yourself a great story.”
Cart, you will make a lot of important decisions in your life. One of those decisions stands in front of you today. It’s a lot to think about. It’s overwhelming. And it’s a lot to ask of a 17-18-year-old kid with his whole life in front of him.
So I thought this story might be of some help today. And I hope you hang onto it because the decisions only get tougher from here on out. The nice thing about the concept of “Regret Minimization” is that it quickly simplifies every decision. It boils everything down to its core. It makes very clear what is actually important. It’s a lot easier to imagine what decisions our future selves might regret vs. trying to weigh dozens of details across dozens of options. It cuts away all of the fat, leaving behind only what matters.
Give the questions above another read. Then go ahead and build yourself a great story. In the end, we are our choices. And no matter what choices you make, we will support you. Always.
No regrets,
C
P.S. Lucca - hang onto this one until you are old enough to read, and preferably, at least until graduation!!